Limerick on Alert

So far this week only one story has dominated local media, The Floods. With the ESB scheduled to release more water from Parteen weir the situation is only going to get worse. For anyone living in an area at risk from flooding the advice being issued is

Advance Preparations:
. Be prepared to evacuate your home or business. Protect yourself, your family and others that need your help.
. Have warm clothing and wellingtons ready . Have medications to hand (if needed). Make a list of children’s essentials that you will have to bring with you if you are evacuated.
. Put sandbags at any openings where the water could gain access.
. Move your car to high ground if possible.
. Have your mobile phone charged. Keep a list of emergency numbers close to your phone.
. Listen to all public alerts issued by the Local Authority or emergency services

Actions to take if being evacuated:

. Turn off gas and electricity.
. Disconnect cookers, washing machines, dishwashers, etc., connected by rigid pipes to prevent damaging the machine and the pipes.
. Store any electrical items upstairs or above flood level.
. Co-operate with emergency services and local authorities.
Close off the flow valves on propane tanks, oil drums, or other fuel containers that supply your home through pipes and fittings.
. Move valuables and other items to safety. Place them above the flood level or upstairs. (It may be preferable to routinely store such items safely upstairs or on high shelves).
. Roll up carpets and rugs and place them out of harms way.
. Empty furniture that cannot be moved and put the contents upstairs.
. Raise furniture that cannot be moved elsewhere on bricks or blocks.
Move these pieces away from walls to assist the drying later. If pieces are too difficult to lift weigh them down with a heavy object to prevent them floating and causing damage to windows, etc.
. Remove curtains if there is time, if not tie them over the curtain rail.
. Remove cabinet doors and internal doors if time allows, if not leave them open.
. Unplug any exterior electrical connections such as outdoor lighting, pond pumps and filters

Over 100 homes were evacuated in the region and with flood waters expected to rise this number is sure to increase. Added to the risk of infection and disease are new reports of  rats and other “vermin” making an already bad situation much worse.

  • shamlass
    OMFG
    LOL
  • bockgonestr8
    ohh boy leave the limerick shams in limerick.. :|
  • ciaraniscool
    It was really nice meeting you.
    Melissa: Fuck off!
    Alan Garner: You know, I was thinking of getting my bartender's license.
    Melissa: Suck my dick!
    Alan Garner: No, thank you.
  • carlosd2nd
    is this place pager friendly?
  • oldmanherbertthepervert
    Just The Two of Us
    ( Dr. Evil & Mini Me )

    This is a very sensitive Subject

    From the moment I Heard Frow say I had a clone,
    I knew that I'd b safe cuz I'd never b alone,
    an Evil doctor shouldn't speak a lot about his feelings,
    my hurt n my pain don't make me too appealing,
    I'd hope Scott would look up to me,
    run the business of the family,
    head an evil empire just like his dear old dad,
    give him my love and the things I never had,
    Scott would think I was a cool guy,
    return the love I have maybe want to cry,
    be evil but how bout feelings too,
    change my life with Oprah and Mya Angelu,
    but Scott rejected me, c'est la vie,
    life is cruel treat you unfairly,
    even so, a god there must be,
    Mini Me You Complete Me!
  • oldmanherbertthepervert
    "Insane"

    I was born with a dick in my brain, yeah fucked in the head
    My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed 'Til one night he snuck in and said
    We're going out back, I want my dick sucked in the shed
    Can't we just play with Teddy Ruxbin instead?
    After I fuck you in the butt, get some head Bust a nut, get some rest
    The next day my mother said "I don't know what the fuck's up with this kid!
    The bastard won't even eat nothing he's fed He just hung himself in the bedroom he's dead"
    "Debbie don't let that fucker get you upset
    Go in there, stick a fuckin' cigarette to his neck I bet you he's fakin' it,
    I bet you I bet he probably just wants to see how upset you would get I'll go handle this of course, unless you object"
    "Ah go fuck his brains out, if any's left in his head"

    [Chorus]
    If you could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet
    Then you would know I've completely lost it Is he nuts? NO! He's insane!

    "Did you get him?" Naaw, fucker tried to bite my face off I just got fuckin' chased off with a chainsaw
    Then he took the chainsaw, bit the fuckin' blades off
    Ate the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshot
    Then he aimed at his own face, let the thing pop
    Took his eye out, picked it up and played ping pong
    Then he played ping pong with his own ding dong
    That motherfucker's got nuts like King Kong Then he set the lawn mower out on the dang lawn
    And he laid all up underneath it with the thing on
    Then he took his pants, he took every fuckin' thing off
    Everything, except his tank top and his training bra
    Ain't he raw? Yeah maniac, that's Shady dog
    Man that motherfucker's gangsta, ain't he dog
    Shady dog, what be going through that fuckin' brain of yours
    Say no more, what the fuck you waitin' for, sing along

    [Chorus]
    If you could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet
    Then you would know I've completely lost it Is he nuts? NO! He's insane!

    Don't you know what felch means? (yeah), well then tell me Would you rather get felched or do the felching
    Fuck him in the ass, suck the cum out while you're belching
    Burp, belch, then go back for a second helping Can you dig what I'm sayin' man, can you smell me?
    I want you to feel me like my step father felt me
    Fuck a little puppy, kick the puppy while he's yelping "Shady what the fuck you saying?"
    I don't know help me! What the fuck's happening, I think I'm fucking melting
    "Marshall I just love you boy, I care about your well being" No Dad, I said no,
    I don't need no help peeing I'm a big boy, I can do it by myself see
    I only get naked when the baby sitter tells me She showed me a movie like "Nightmare on Elm Street"
    But it was X, and they called it "Pubic Hair on Chelsea"
    "Well this is called ass rape, and we're shooting the jail scene"

    [Chorus]
    If you could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet
    Then you would know I've completely lost it Is he nuts? NO! He's insane
  • carlosd2nd
    This is a song for the ladies
    But fellas listen closely
    You don't always have to fuck her hard
    In fact sometimes that's not right to do
    Sometimes you've got to make some love
    And fucking give her some smoochies too
    Sometimes ya got to squeeze
    Sometimes you've got to say please
    Sometime you've got to say hey
    I'm gonna Fuck you softly
    I'm gonna screw you gently
    I'm gonna hump you sweetly
    I'm gonna ball you discreetly
    And then you say hey I bought you flowers
    And then you say wait a minute sally
    I think I got somethin in my teeth
    Could you get it out for me
    That's fucking teamwork
    Whats your favorite position?
    That's cool with me
    Its not my favorite
    But I'll do it for you
    Whats your favorite dish?
    I'm not gonna cook it
    But ill order it from Zanzibar
    And then I'm gonna love you completely
    And then I'll fucking fuck you discreetly
    And then I'll fucking bone you completely
    But then I'm gonna fuck you hard
    Hard
  • oldmanherbertthepervert
    [Keri Hilson:]
    Heh... not again...
    Oh... this ain't supposed to happen to me...

    [Kanye West:]
    Keep rockin', and keep knockin'
    Whether you Louis Vouiton-ed up or Reebok-in'
    You see the hate, that they're servin' on a platter
    So what we gon' have - desert or disaster?

    [Keri Hilson:]
    I never thought I'd... be in love like this
    When I look at you my mind goes on a trip
    And you came in... and knocked me on my face
    Feels like in I'm a race
    But I... already won first place

    I never thought I'd... fall for you as hard as I did
    (As hard as I did, yeah)
    You got me thinkin' about our life, house and kids (yeah)
    Every morning I look at you and smile
    Cause boy you came around and you knocked me down... knocked me down

    [Chorus:]
    Sometimes love comes around
    (Love comes around)
    And it knocks you down
    Just get back up
    When it knocks you down
    (Knocks you down)
    Sometimes love comes around
    (Love comes around)
    And it knocks you down
    Just get back up
    When it knocks you down
    (Knocks you down)

    [Ne-Yo:]
    I've never thought I
    Would hear myself say (ooh)
    Ya'll gon head
    I think I'm gonna kick it with my girl today (Kick it with my girl today)
    I used to be commander and chief
    Of my pimp ship flyin' high (flyin' high)
    Til I met this pretty little missle, that shot me out the sky (oh shot me out the sky)

    (Hey) Till now I'm crashing, I don't know how it happened
    But I know it feels so damn good
    Said if I could go back, and make it happen faster
    Don't you know I would baby if I could
    Miss independent (oh, to the fullest), the load never to much, she helping me pull it
    She shot the bullet that ended that life
    I swear to you the pimp in me just died tonight

    [Chorus:]
    Sometimes love comes around
    (Love comes around)
    And it knocks you down
    Just get back up
    When it knocks you down
    (Knocks you down)
    Sometimes love comes around
    (Love comes around)
    And it knocks you down
    Just get back up
    When it knocks you down
    (Knocks you down)

    [Kanye West:]
    Tell me now can you make it past your caspers
    So we can finally fly off into NASA
    You was always the cheerleader of my dreams to
    Seem to only date the head of football teams
    And I was the class clown that, always kept you laughin'
    We, were never meant to be baby we just happened
    So please, don't mess up the trick... hey young world I'm the new slick rick
    They say I move too quick, but we can't let the moment pass us
    Let the hourglass pass right into ashes
    Let the wind blow the ash right before my glasses
    So I wrote this love letter right before my classes
    How could a goddess have asked someone that's only average
    For advice
    O.M.G, you listen to that, bitch?
    Whoa it's me
    Baby this is tragic
    Cause we had it, we was magic

    I was flyin', now I'm crashin'
    This is bad, real bad, Michael Jackson
    Now I'm mad, real mad, Joe jackson
    You should leave your boyfriend now, I'm a ask him

    [Keri Hilson:]
    So I gotta put the good with the bad, happy and the sad
    So I'll bring a better future than I had in the past
    Oh Cause, I don't wanna make the same mistakes I did
    I don't wanna fall back on my face again
    Whoaa, whoaaa
    I'll admit it, I I was scared to answer loves call
    Whoaa, whoaaa
    And if it hits better make it worth the fall

    (When it comes around)

    [Chorus:]
    Sometimes love comes around
    (Love comes around)
    And it knocks you down
    Just get back up
    When it knocks you down
    (Knocks you down)
    Sometimes love comes around
    (Love comes around)
    And it knocks you down
    Just get back up
    When it knocks you down
    (Knocks you down)

    Won't see it coming when it happens
    But when it happens you're gonna feel it, let me tell you now
    You see when love come and knocks you down (oh)

    Won't see it coming when it happens
    But when it happens you're gonna feel it, let me tell you now
    You see when love comes and knocks you down (yeah
  • carlosd2nd
    Something you should know about FACK Lyrics

    Title: Eminem - FACK lyrics

    Artist: Eminem Lyrics

    Visitors: 51330 visitors have hited FACK Lyrics since May 27, 2008.



    Send "FACK" Ringtone to Mobile




    [Intro]
    Ow Ow Ow
    Im Gonna Fucking Cum


    [Chorus]
    Owwww owwww owwwww (oh god damn!)
    I'm gonna fuckin' come! (oh shit!)
    Fuuck fuck fuyyuccck (fuck I am!)
    I am, I'm going to come (I'm coming!)

    [Verse 1]
    (Ohh yeahh god) I never seen no chick like this,
    this bitch can twist like a damn contortionist
    condom on my dick of course it is,
    this bitch don't know what abortion is
    so I cant cum in her,
    fucks like a porn star, looks like Jenna,
    fuck I'm gonna,
    come I think my rubbers comin' off,
    but oh its so fuckin wet and soft,
    fuck, i'm gonna start lettin' off
    im squirtin and shes not gettin' off,
    and shes on top
    im gonna fackin' ohh god,
    oh don't do that dont, stop,
    stop don't, I don't mean don't stop,
    oww wait a minute
    ow ow fuck I...I'm gonna fuckin comeee! *squirt squirt squirt*

    [Chorus]
    Owwww owwww owwwww (oh god damn!)
    I'm gonna fackin' come! (oh shit!)
    Fack fack fayyuccck (fuck I am!)
    I am, I'm going to come (I'm coming!)

    [Verse 2]
    Oooh wow, boo that pow, ooh ow I need a cigarette now!
    Ow im so fuckin' hot,
    and you're soo fuckin' hot,
    oh my god,
    I wanna fackin' fack
    no not fuck, I said fack ,
    f-a-c-k, f-a-c-k, fack, fack fack fackin' freak mee!
    Ohh yeah girl see baby they call me Mr Freaky,
    lets call your sister, 3-way have some 3-some me so horny!
    And you're such a fuckin' babe I wanna go down on you, fuck you shave!
    Ohh god damn here I go again, I'm gonna cum I am

    [Chorus]
    Owwww owwww owwwww (oh god damn!)
    I'm gonna fackin' come! (oh shit!)
    Fack fack fack (fuck I am!)
    I am, I'm going to come (I'm coming!)

    *Eminem mumbling*

    [Verse 3]
    Ok I'm done,
    I already came twice,
    you aint gonna make me cum,
    I'm all outta gas,
    Not so fast! Uh your finger just went in my ass!
    Ow that hurts! Take it out now
    Ohh wait a minute oww put it back in, in in in
    this don't mean I'm gay I dont like men
    I like boobs, boobs, boobs
    Now see that gerbil, grab that tube,
    shove it up my butt,
    let that little rascal nibble on my asshole, uhh, yeah, right there, right there,
    Ahhh I'm coming ahhh yeaaah,
    fack, I just came again, okay pull it out now,
    ohh fuck yeah, wait he's not out hes still crawling around up there,
    ow fuck I think it's stuck
    oww but it feels so fackin' good!

    [Chorus]
    Owwww owwww owwwww (oh god damn!)
    I'm gonna fackin' come! (oh shit!)
    Fack fack fack (fuck I am!)
    I am, I'm going to come (I'm coming!)


    [Outro]
    Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube!
    Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube!
    Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube!
    Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube!
    Ew ew ew ew
  • seanisapenguin
    were gonna get fucked uuuuuppppp!
  • carlosd2nd
    SEAN ur nli talkin alota bullshit :D:D ha
    fukin penguin

    brian
  • seanisapenguin
    Man shutp b4 i kick ur ass motherfucker
  • ceasarfire
    There is a mutated goat in my school. It has been mutated against its will into a half goat half sheep named: Goatsheep. What should I do
  • carlosd2nd
    awh well u no ur self shit happens
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